The Single Greatest Investment

The Single Greatest Investment

The best thing money can buy is higher quality of life for yourself and others.

Wisdom.

Freedom, opportunity, expansion are all aspects of a higher quality of life.

All other purchases such as unconditional love from a dog, a beautiful Tesla electric motor car, a dream vacation walking The Great Wall of China, so that when you live longer (rich people tend to live longer than the poor) you enjoy it. Buy for yourself first so you can have more to buy for others. There is no way you can buy more time. At least not more than 24 hours in a day. But you can buy more ability to expand and enjoy your current amount of time. The ability to “slow” things down and appreciate them. You can also buy efficiency: food being cooked for you, traveling by jet instead of bus, text message instead of post, you get the idea. Free up your time with money. Oh, yeah, yes, you can buy more time. Rich people live longer than poor people. How’s that for buying more time?

The rich and successful who also enjoy their lives with plenty of time to do what they want keep the priorities that got them there. Not just smart work but also spending what they have in appropriate, responsible ways on personal development first.

Come and share what makes you successful while learning from other successful people.

Information Overload: How do I get rid of . . .

Information Overload: How do I get rid of my habit of saving anything & everything that I find useful, interesting on the internet?

 

I spend a lot of time online, and browse through many social media & other websites such as Pinterest, Quora, Facebook (product), etc.

While browsing on the internet, if I find anything that is humorous, informative, etc. I HAVE to save it! I feel the need to store the data thinking I may never get the same data again.

Sometimes, I do this by storing webpages, or by saving images of a similar kind in a folder. Sometimes even the need to store the data physically!

For example: While browsing on Quora yesterday I came across this question : What are the funniest Game of Thrones meme images? Being a Game of Thrones (TV series) fan, I really enjoyed the different memes. I immediately thought of creating a folder (named ‘GoT memes’ maybe!) and storing the best images (for that matter all of them!)

Similar instances on Facebook & Pinterest!

 

Is it just me or some of you also do similar things?

Do you think my behavior is fine?

If not, how do I get rid of my habit?

 

# Edit : I just did it again! I have added too many topics to this question. 😛

 

 

 

 

Pain

Remember your pain is what starts us off.

 

Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

 

Is that what you truly want? I mean, doesn’t this just boil down to being a know-it-all? How impressive is that to people compared to being intelligent and effective? Add a few points to a conversation and let those sink in. That is far more effective and trying to know about everything.

Or is this the problem? That you have a short attention span, delighted by everything?

This problem comes from too much stimulation. So cut it down. Where is your pain in your life? Bring back just a tad of that to keep things in perspective.

Or is this a problem of hoarding? Because hoarding bookmarks on the internet is incredibly doable with bookmark apps. Why stop? I don’t really see a problem here. In fact, if you keep your bookmarks public in your app then others can share and comment which build your own community that could, one day, even be turned into a profitable business endeavor or even another search engine.

Don’t stop. There is no problem here. Now go out and get really good at it, just keep it as a hobby, or whatever.

But if you are worried about how much unproductive time you are wasting . . . well, that is another problem. But if you are sharing and “talking” then that can be incredibly valuable. The internet has provided another means of staying in communication not just to those we love and care about (friends, family, coworkers, etc.) but also the masses at large. And people and capitalizing on it. So why shouldn’t you? Well, when any strength becomes over extended it may become a problem. Is this actually a problem or just being perceived as one?

You asked, “Is it just me or some of you also do similar things?”. I think any brief perusal on Pinterest, Facebook, Quora, or any other social media shows millions upon millions of others doing the same thing.

I would say you are not talking enough. The automatic correction to this comes in the form of, “Who is listening?”. Is anybody responding? Are you engaging with people?

Now, on another note, you did mention one thing that might be a concern. Actually storing the data. If this is being saved to your hard drive or even copies of the data being saved to the cloud then this could easily be classified as “hoarding” (obsessive compulsive). Ever seen the TV show? Very little is ever erased from the internet these days. And stuff that is often gets reposted immediately in several places. If this is your concern then there is a problem. Hoarders (obsessive compulsive) talk about this. That they might not get it again. It is a scarcity mentality.

“If not, how do I get rid of my habit?”

For that I recommend Gutap.

 

This class is about what you think your problem is compared to what the actual problem is about.

What is really going on? I just love the answers found in psychology and personal development. Come and talk about them.

 

Focus and Results (without losing global awareness)

What are some strategies to stay focused on tasks and actually get stuff done when creativity/ADD is on overload?

We are often under immense pressure to do more with less. But how do we go about it in a healthy, responsible manner?

The positive side is that you actually have some constructive things to add to the projects. Do you know how many lazy, negative, worthless things people try to “chip in” with to improve something? You actually want to help in a constructive manner. You are already staying out of the trap of pointing out flaws to passively aggressively destroy the project. Anybody can say why something won’t work. That’s easy but coming up with ideas that could actually work? That takes real skill!

And that is the beginning to the answer. Run with the ideas to let them lead you to what will actually work. Overload can bring an emotional rush (a high) that could even lead to being bipolar. So what to do? Ask yourself, Or have someone ask you some basic questions about what you want to do? Of course you have to live in the clouds, that is what creative people do. But how do you actually LIVE there?

Do you want to get lost in ideas or do you want to actually be effective and get a paycheck?

Do you want the feeling of the rush of ideas more than being recognized by others and received the feeling of solid admiration?

Do you want to make some changes or just spout off at the mouth?

Do you want to be grounded, solid, and effective or do you want to float away in the clouds going nowhere?

This sounds a lot easier in theory than in practice. There is a complete niche developed in life coaching for creative people. Many incredible insights and developments have been added to the field. For the practice side I added Gutap to it to help turn the ADD into more constructive creativity.

Come and learn about focus as a part of overall awareness. This class is not just about mental illness. It is about what confident, healthy, successful people can learn from the mistakes of others to be even greater. Wise are those who learn from others and not just their own mistakes.

How can I raise my self-esteem?

I have very low self-esteem. I am pretty sure, though, that I’m a great person because that’s what people keep telling me. I can recognize that I have a warped self-view because I don’t believe I am beautiful, but everyone tells me that I am. I really am quite good at life, but I get easily bogged down (and somewhat socially crippled) by self-doubt. How can I stop negative thought patterns from wiping out everything I’ve learned about me being great? Negative concepts about myself are just so robust and overpowering.

How do you change an arrogant person?

Yes, you can change someone.

Seems I disagree with most people. A refreshing change where most people believe it is morally wrong to want to get someone to be a better person. Can you get an arrogant person to change?

Yes, you can change people. Yep, I said it. You can change people. And people are changing people all the time. It is called leverage, pressure, finding their current motivation, etc. etc.

Sales people use it all the time. The media does it as well. Everyone is changing things all the time. People discuss, learn, grow, adapt constantly.

How many times have you changed your mind today? What influenced you – just you? Or were there any external motivations used by others? Was the media involved in any way online or offline?

Did you turn on the radio and instantly like the song playing and felt better? There are trillions of dollars spent every year, millions of jobs where people spend all day – every day – planning in exquisite detail about how to change things to their own advantage. They are called politicians, lawyers, corporations, and even Reddit, Quora, and others.

This also applies to motivation. Can you motivate someone? Yes, see above.

Everybody begins the desire to change once the proper form of benefit is shown to them. Everybody begins to desire to change once they see a better way of getting what they really want. An arrogant person (generically speaking) wants to be right and known for being right. But what is wrong with being admired, appreciated, respected, and revered if the person keeps their ego in check about it. People love compliments. Once an arrogant person sees this better way of getting admiration and appreciation they want to change.

People often say change yourself first. I agree and add this – Change yourself first so you can change others for the better. Or rather, learn the skills of leadership, self improvement, and how to offer a better way to people.

But can people really change? Most think no. I disagree again (respectfully). I have just given an example about how sales, marketing, and motivation combined with psychology and personal development can produce the desire to change.

And, here, we all know my favorite method for change – Gutap, of course.

What you can sit with, you can move beyond

It is counter-intuitive for some to think that being with a feeling (feeling it) makes it easier to change, or work with.  And rightly so.  Many people that don’t have a lot of experience sitting with their own feelings frequently find themselves completely triggered by them, or numb to them- in which case they work their way out in self destructive ways creating problems.

Many people try to get away from their uncomfortable feelings, afraid that letting themselves feel the feeling means it will never go away, or that it will take over – which actually can happen.

Being afraid of being/sitting/feeling incompetent as an example:

  • Some people are very uncomfortable feeling incompetent.  They feel stupid and will do anything to avoid feeling this, including not trying new things, blaming others to the extremes (as a distraction from their own true feelings) and possibly shaming them, beating themselves up for not getting things right the first time (perhaps letting the feeling control them rather than feeling and sitting with it).   Many can relate to not being comfortable when they look at their own incompetent moments and the fears and negative triggers that may come up.
  • When a person gets good at just acknowledging their own incompetence without condemning themselves, the easier it is to grow their skills.  Once we get to the point of just starting to do something well we are no longer incompetent.  Yet, the degree we are comfortable with the sense of feeling incompetent the faster getting to the mastery stage will go.  No one starts out doing things perfectly, ever, and being ok with not being good at first, can also allow for fun and creativity. This is the exploration, development, and mastery of life that everyone is after.

 

I remember when I was learning to cross-county ski. I signed up for something like a series of twelve sessions or something and off I went. I was the only individual in the class. Everybody else had the benefit of having brought a friend. As we started our first practice exercise I kicked in several different skills learned from personal development training and other places like the Inner Game of Skiing. It wasn’t anything super fancy or ego controlling or even sophisticated really. I like to start with simply getting into the present moment and returning to it as often as I can when I realize I am out of it. It isn’t black or white, there are a lot of degrees of how much going on here. I like to use a simple breathing exercise or, rather, I simply feel my breathing to relax. I think that’s one of the key things is that I’m not “completely” in the zone just always moving more into the zone. I simply do something to move more into zone when I notice I can. It took many years of practice to get decent at this. And the zone is also separate from skill level in cross-country skiing. I can get into the flow to one degree or another quite easily. But that doesn’t make me great at sports it just helps me to thoroughly enjoy them. And by enjoy I mean to finish a ski run feeling better than when I started or achieving the runner’s high, things like that.

The biggest feeling I had getting in the way of being in the flow when I was learning was feeling stupid (and awkward was second). I simply embraced the feeling to learn what I was supposed to from it. I got into it just the way it was, no more – no less. And as I did I practiced Zen – no mind. That empty space stuff. Now that I think about it I don’t think I really achieved no mind while I was skiing. And I’ve only ever fully hit that place a couple of times in life and then only for a few seconds.

Then, once I was practicing being in the moment, I began the translation process from intellectual instruction received to emotional physical experience. For example, the instructor said, “Look up when you’re skiing. It’s easier to ski. You fumble less.” So I’m feeling this experience of looking up without telling myself to look up (along with stupid and awkward). And it works. Looking out ahead works far better than micromanaging foot placement by staring at my feet. I feel good. And I feel good that I feel good without engaging the ego. If the ego comes in I give it an exercise that’s helpful to what I’m doing similar to bounce hit from Inner Game of Tennis. It really wasn’t that hard once I got the hang of it. Just feel, let the mind go.

“Holy crap?” you say. That’s far more thinking that is going to knock you right out of the flow. How do you do that? Simple, you read, study, practice, keep adding, watch for anything and everything that becomes a problem, deal with it, and above all – revert back to feeling action instead of telling yourself what to do. There is literally ten times more in the book The Inner Game of Golf that I haven’t done than what I’ve actually practiced. Just picking out the first chapters and getting started drops me into the flow far more often now than ever before.

Back to my cross-country skiing lesson: Well, I started looking around. I wanted to see how others were doing. How was I doing managing my state compared to others? No judgment, just checking. I was curious and seriously wanted to measure myself. And I almost fell down laughing. People can be so cutesy when they are obviously trying so hard to look good instead of learning. Ego was out of control. I did some compassion and forgiveness work and went back to my own learning. Dropped “feeling pleased with myself” then reverted to a more sincere achievement to produce my confidence and I was back in the flow.

Now here’s the incredible part if that wasn’t enough. By the end of the class both the instructor and his assistant both separately complemented me that I was a natural and had picked cross-country skiing up quite well. (I’m still a novice and not winning any races or anything.) They just were noticing a fluidity and mentioned that. And the important part here was I am not a sports person. I am a bit of a geek – stiff and awkward. Not ever really all that great at sports. Their compliment seemed genuine and was not solicited. I didn’t take the class to impress them. Just hangin out, doin my thing. One instructor was also able to notice a particular action I was taking (pausing at the end of each stroke for just a second) and I was also able to take that instruction inside and feel to adjust for that. Nothing amazing here just a whole ton of years of practice to get to this point. The bliss of being in the flow isn’t too tough to achieve anymore. It’s now more of degrees of achievement. And I haven’t got anywhere close to being completely, fully so far into the zone that my body rejuvenates itself faster than I take action. No one has ever done that. I hope it is possible but I don’t know if I have enough time left in life to get there. Just appreciating enjoying life.

So this business of success of which the placebo effect is always a part is only seriously complicated at first. Then it only takes about forty-five seconds to get there. Two years to learn golf swing – then only about 45 seconds to hit a decent shot off the first tee most of the time. Two years to 45 seconds. It’s like that with pretty much all sports. About six months to two years to learn a difficult skate board trick then executed in about 45 seconds.

How to instantly return to the present moment.
Do what it takes to be successful and you are successful every single time.

Do you feel like doing it?

Trust is a feeling. Interesting that it is mentioned last as the thing to do.

Meaning you can change what you feel like doing.

Another way to put is what professional athletes do. It is called warming up. Then you feel like doing something bigger. The warm up is preceded by your vision, where you look to in your mind. What do you see? What would you like to see? There, you changed it.

You are never going to feel like doing it.

Well, if you don’t learn to get your feelings in support of what you are doing then you will eventually burn out, get bored, or just quit because it sucks. You are just forcing yourself to do what you need to and that always has a time limit on its effectiveness. Learn to align your feelings with what you need to do and then you can keep going because you do feel like doing it.

Learn to feel like doing it and you practically there.

 

Now the weird part. Sometimes it is perfectly ok to force yourself to do what you need too. It is called will power.

Will power is only the forerunner to self-discipline

Will power is a wonderful short term use of the ego.

Ever notice how ego maniacs tend to run out of steam? It is not just because of the enormous amount of energy it takes to sustain sheer force of will. It is also because will power is only designed to be used short term.

Think of your biceps and your neck muscles. Ever wonder why you can’t hold up your hand for more than a few minutes at a time without your arm getting exhausted? While your neck holds your head up all day long without much of a problem. The difference is in the TYPE of muscle you are using. Your biceps are designed for short term heavy lifting while your neck can’t really do fifteen push-ups very well.

There is a trade off to get the best of both worlds. Will power is your biceps and self-discipline is your neck. In other words – when was the last time you had a work out for your neck muscles? Not very often I bet! But will power? That gets it every day.

The point is what to use for what – don’t depend on will power long term. Or beat yourself up when will power does not cut it to get out of bed early day after day after day.

 

Confuse them at your peril.

 

 

 

Getting things done

Seeking productivity?

Here is a classic.

Yep, everyday wake up and do the most important thing first not the most pressing. It is tempting to get sucked into a world of what is urgent and pressing. Panic drives people to action (maybe even paralysis if too much). Get out in front of your life by heading things off.

What is the single greatest thing you need to do right now?

If you need to warm up the of course that works too then do the single greatest thing possible.

Watch how your life changes.

What is more important to success: Intelligence or reliability?

What is more important to success:

intelligence or reliability?

Of course, both are necessary but if you could only
have one in yourself or a partner, which would you take?

 

Intelligence is more important than reliability because if nothing was leading all the reliability in the world would have no place to go. Sounds weird, right? Because reliability is the ability to be counted upon – which means nothing without someone to count on you. What good is being reliable if there is no one smart enough to give you something to rely upon.

 

Intelligence is a leader.

Reliability is a follower.

 

If everyone is a follower then we go nowhere but if everyone is a leader then we are alpha’s among alphas.

 

Another example is creativity as a form of intelligence. Creative people are often known for being erratic, eccentric, unpredictable, blunt, critical, and condescending but when they produce – WATCH OUT! Because the world changes in incredible ways. Would I want to be neighbors with Leonard DaVinci, Picasso , or Tim Burton (Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, etc)? Probably not. Only without this intelligence what need would there be for reliability. It is possible to manage the craziness of intelligence to obtain invention or products to turn over to reliable people. It just isn’t easy so people turn to reliable but then they don’t have any new results.

 

Creativity (a form of intelligence) comes before even the need of reliability. All current reliability is following great intelligence that came before it.

 

Be intelligent first, then reliable. Both are needed.

 

 

 

These hypothetical questions are sometimes seen as being redundant academic exercises with no practical application in the real world.

 

Here is a practical application: People with the proper priorities become successful and stay that way. Knowing the priority of intelligence over reliability gives you an edge. Now go use it well, meaning, be smart first and then follow through with reliability.

 

Here are just two examples from several different categories of managing the creative individual Jayne:

 

DEVELOPING

Make her productive quickly

Show her the simplest, quickest, most practical way to get results

 

MOTIVATING

Provide opportunities to work independently

Allow her to direct the efforts of others

 

COMPLIMENTING

Use brief, direct statements, focusing on achievements, results, and leadership abilities

Use concise, accurate, specific statements (preferably in private) about her competence, use of logic,

efficiency, and precision

 

COUNSELING

Focus on obstacles to achieving results and how to eliminate them

Present needed changes in terms of impact on results and consequences

 

PROBLEM-SOLVING

Tends to take a practical, results-oriented approach, preferring simple, easy-to-implement, immediate solutions

May need to be directed toward considering the long-term consequences

 

DELEGATING

Tell her what result you need and by when; let her determine how to get it done

Specify clearly the limits of authority and available resources, allowing autonomy within those limits

 

CORRECTING

Be firm and direct, specifying the desired result as well as current level of performance

Direct the discussion to what she is going to do to eliminate the gap in performance

 

DECISION-MAKING

Tends to be a quick decision-maker

May need coaching on taking time to gather sufficient information and considering possible consequences before making decisions

Skills teaching, yes, but not without healing

Which part of mindset do you really want to learn about?

Focusing on the skills teaching of personal development produces direct income. If you teach sales skills then someone can earn money by doing sales. The real problem is in healing. What do you do if someone lacks the motivation, interest, or has blocks around doing sales? That is where being able to change our beliefs comes into play. Everyone in the personal development arena also promises they can help you through this but they simply can’t explain very well how they do it. If they can’t explain it how are they doing it with their clients then? Look at the success rates.

Look for someone who can explain this well. I explain it in detail greater than anyone else around. (If I am bragging or sound egotistical, do you really care if I can deliver?) I’ve posted it here on warrior and it is on my website (with video client testimonials).

Contact Toby

Toby Jensen, Master Life Coach
Park City, UT
(801) 484 - 3484

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