Life lessons learned from an unusual source

When I was a kid reading these wonderful comics (at least the few I could get my hands on) I was a little bit scared of Batman. That was a dark world he lived in. On the other hand, I loved Spiderman and Superman. Spiderman was someone who gained superpowers so maybe one day I could fantastically gain superpowers as well I secretly hoped. While Superman was just loved by everyone and had, it seemed like, every super power imaginable.

Batman was so stoic and fought evil so well I never really noticed that he didn’t have super powers – a combination of great marketing and me just being a kid I guess. The villains he fought viciously and effectively. I always thought he was the dark knight because he always seemed to be fighting those villains at night. Stupid right?

Well, now that I think about it I can see how it adds to the dark temperament of Batman. His whole world is dark not just that he fights at night. He lost his parents whom he loved deeply only to be filled by a cold, dark world of wealth in a city of corruption. Eventually realizing the difficult lesson that money can’t replace a parent’s love.

These things only add to the dark mystery of the dark knight. The best life lesson I have learned from Batman is that you become that which you fight against. His greater struggle beyond elusive happiness, anger, and frustration is that of what you resist persists. He hates the evil filth he has to fight against. Struggling daily to reach some sense of a peace of mind to deal with a corrupt world, he continually asks himself, “Why not just surrender to the temptation and become Ra’s al Ghul?”.

That is the greatest life lesson I have taken from Batman. He is called The Dark Knight because his Dark potential is seen by so many that desperately support him to remain a true Knight. He is the knight of continual downfall only constantly having to rise again. A knight of the greatest magnitude who we can relate to because the greatest among us still have their own personal problems as well. He reminds us of our own internal struggles and temptations. He reminds us we are still human. Human beings who are only striving to still being human. I am more than a human being. I am simply being human.

It is the corrupting nature of power – some say absolute power, absolutely corrupts.

This all comes hitting home on a personal level when we are working on our own personal problems. Batman allows us to do this safely from a distance. As an adult, now I get to do this by seeing this life lesson in a cartoon. I am then easier on myself. I mean, if Batman is having a problem . . . .

It is the fight to keep his honor that we admire because we all suffered this same struggle with the temptation of power.

Intense dedication to eliminating evil causes us to become evil. Remember Queen Galadriel from The Lord of the Rings? This is the feminine version of Batman’s struggle. In The Lord of the Rings is happened in a moment. When Galadriel was offered the ring by Frodo. There the case is made that absolute power absolute corrupts. And it is a lesson best learned in vulnerability.

“And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!”

She lifted up her hand and from the ring that she wore there issued a great light that illuminated her alone and left all else dark. She stood before Frodo seeming now tall beyond measurement, and beautiful beyond enduring, terrible and worshipful. Then she let her hand fall, and the light faded, and suddenly she laughed again, and lo! she was shrunken: a slender elf-woman, clad in simple white, whose gentle voice was soft and sad.

“I pass the test”, she said. “I will diminish, and go into the West and remain Galadriel.”

LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring – Galadriel – All shall love me and despair

It is the last part that is often overlooked. She was grateful and relieved to diminish from the previous moment of absolute power. She was just able to be herself again. She was a noble human being, another example of incredible wisdom, personal control, and an example to be learned from.

Fiction gives us such an incredible opportunity to see universal truths that transcend politics and business and religion and psychology and philosophy and science which are often still bickering over their own methodology.

When lessons are told in a story it is fun to learn. We are led gently along the path to realizing our own internal war that connects us together by realizing the raging war within Batman ourselves. As he holds it together we realize . . . it was what his parents would have done – helped people.

Batman knows he could take over Gotham. He has the physical power to kill all the bad guys and the financial money from the Wayne empire to control the city. This disturbs him. It disturbs him because a part of him actually wants too. It is the temptation we ourselves want to be faced with one day and so we are, on a smaller scale, every day. The Batman give us this in a softer way to not scare us away from beginning to understand ourselves and our influence in this world. Some of the most difficult life lessons can begin to be handled as children and The Batman can ease us into this.

The character of Batman draws on that part of us that desires purpose in life. We want to either be The Batman or be protected by him. We want someone with the ability to achieve absolute power and the character not to take it. The temptation takes its toll though. It is brutal work and often under appreciated. It is our support of good wherever we may find it that helps us live life better. Then we may be empowered and be able to live life ourselves.

May we all continue to “pass the test” and help other people to pass it as well and remember the lessons found in The Dark Knight well.

America’s Got Talent – Howie Mandel – hypnosis worked then stopped, why?

Hypnosis is so fascinating and so much fun. I have seen some of the most incredible things done by people but as soon as they come out of it all the change, most often, just melts away.

For example, I was just watching the new season of America’s Got Talent. A hypnotist came out and hypnotized Howie Mandel. I got my hopes up when they had a disclaimer and cut away so we, the audience, did not see what he did to hypnotize Howie. Was it good TV or really necessary?

I would say probably both. Very smart.

The meat of it though? The hypnotist delivered. And quite well. For those who don’t know Howie Mandel suffers from OCD (something I could certainly get him through given the chance but that’s another conversation for later). With this OCD I believe he’s also a germaphobe? (Yep, could get him through that too.) Anyway, under hypnosis Howie shakes the guy’s hand. Amazing! Absolutely incredible. Plus the hypnotist even demonstrated before that Howie doesn’t like shaking hands. Asked him about. All the other judges saying, “Yep, he never does it.” Pretty well known. Only does fist bumps.

But the hypnosis didn’t deal with the issue of OCD or germaphobe directly. It was only a misdirection. The power of suggestion that distracted people. People love distraction. It is so much fun. I love it too. And even just talking about it I want to go off on some camping trip rant right now. Stop. Stop it Toby.

Ok, I’m back. Howie was shaking this guy’s hand. Amazing. He comes out of it and does not even remember he was shaking hands. Not a good sign for long lasting results.

Then MelB asks the most profound question.

Simply shocking.

She was moved. Plus she also believes in psychics and stuff like that too. She desperately asked the hypnotist to make it permanent. If he can do it under hypnosis please make it last when he comes out.

The hypnotist could not do it. He did not even try. What he did was put Howie back under and had him shake hands with the other judges. It was such good showmanship. Really well done. An attempt at appeasement but again when Howie came back out he didn’t remember. And he still would shake hands with the other judges.

Oh, how I wish I could see the look on Howie’s face when he watches the playback. But I truly do feel bad for him though. He is also going to be so hurt too. Why couldn’t he shake hands now when he so easily did it under hypnosis?

Too bad he didn’t come to see me. I could have gotten him through it. And not through hypnosis either. This is exactly why Gutap was created.

The best leadership lessons you can learn from Game of Thrones

True leadership comes from sharing power. Even though it slows down progress this practice of leadership allows you to stay in power.

I have not read the books and have only watched the series.

Power is complicated.

I also think that is one of the reasons people like the show. Incredible contrasting characters to really watch various forms of leadership being displayed.

There are many things you see in The Game of Thrones leadership that simply makes you want to throw up but it is more important to stay alive and protect those in your kingdom than it is to do what is morally right or helpful. Those are the types of people that rise to power in our own society as well. It is not the skilled, intelligent, or competent people who lead. Leadership is done by those who can take a position of power, by whatever means, and keep it. Might still makes right. But it is good to see that changing even if it is slowly. The top leaders are simply not as powerful as in the past. And we see that decentralization in the Game of Thrones. Those leaders who share are moving ahead. Being fair allows you to be able to get things done.

There are several forces of power in the show. While the ultimate power (the bankers) have not even really been seen. There is the public display of power. Then we see the influences of hidden power of the bankers as well as the spies and the politicians.

Different conditions call for different types of leadership. Running the ice wall is a far cry from the southern cities.

Religious power – believing you are chosen of God. Never underestimate the power of inspirational leadership. Currently on the down turn in our own society now – even Tony Robbins has shifted his delivery away from being inspirational – people want more real, lasting relationships.

How it helps us in our world today. The cause of the little people has been advanced further than anything I have ever seen by the dwarf. Not just in this show but the stand Peter Dinklage has taken in real life to not do any acting jobs that are demeaning to little people. He is simply incredible in his roles. First listed actor on IMDB for The Game of Thrones as well – if that means anything at all about power. It probably doesn’t, just throwing that in for fun. The respect and admiration he elicits from me is outstanding. It is easy to forgive him for his failing to sell me on his performance of being ashamed when his character is ridiculed for being a dwarf. I just don’t buy it. I simply shudder at the amount of moral fortitude he has to maintain to display shame on camera while keeping his own personal honor grounded by knowing there is simply no shame whatsoever in being a little person. I just churn on the inside with him when I see it. It makes me appreciate the nobility of the acting profession beyond what I thought was possible.

The power of HBO. With the decline of the power of record labels and movies as well because of piracy HBO is getting a two-for here. They are making more money from TV (the often seen “lesser than” movie industry) making it even more powerful. Powerful enough to gain serious respect which may even lead to being more powerful than the movies. Something unheard of a decade or so ago.

The power of influence with people after the show is over. People are talking about this show. That is power. The good, the bad, the ugly. And it is because it is being well done. (I often wish The Hunger Games had been a chapter an episode on HBO even though the silver screen still holds its own power.)

I know people who do not watch tv who have tuned in just to watch this show. It may even just be the best show on tv right now. It is true leadership when someone changes their behavior through positive reinforcement rather than the easier manipulation of pain to garner movement. People simply don’t vote with their money out of pleasure nearly as often as out of pain avoidance. To get people to do that is real power.

The Game of Thrones had the power to change writing.

This is the first series I have even seen that production of the show has surpassed the actual written material. George R R Martin is having to finish the books through the TV show before the books themselves will be written and published. When was the last time we saw such an incredible series be able to finish for us before the writer passes? So many good authors that were not able to finish their work. It just takes too long to get good enough at your craft. Robert Jordan or Frank Herbert just to name two.

We really lucked out that Harry Potter was finished.

It is the power of the written word. Writing can hold its own with music, shows, politics, and banks. The moments. That is what matters. Less is more. The influential power of a picture.

The power of real life cultural influence. How varied the power of women are in the series is astonishing. When leadership is wielded well all answer its call – regardless of who is calling. And to see women using power in feminine ways is good. Power is being used through the development of relationships. Viewers are not stupid. We see the appropriate use of power used by some over others.

Lawyers have only barely made a dent in this world. That title really belongs to the bankers. They know to share power. The bankers understand that.

The Game of Thrones seems like a simpler time where decisions are easier because we are aware of the different forces at play. But remember, these characters do not know all that we do. We watch decisions being made and cringe or rejoice based on our additional knowledge. We have the unfair advantage in that arena.

Leadership of the arrogant boy king, seems to have gotten all the bad traits from his father and none of the good ones. Vying for power, like moths to the flame. Drunk with leadership.

Leveraging resources: sex, money, opportunity. They are all at play.

We see two sides of leadership: brute force displayed through war and negotiating displayed through politics.

Absolute power absolutely corrupts.

Power is complex so it ought to be shared to appreciate it fully.

Why is Gutap better than so many popular forms of reframing like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and NLP?

Start with what is obviously a problem for you that you want to work on. Ask yourself what you believe that is not working that needs to change for you to be healthy and successful.

Here is a fun, short little cartoon someone created on awareness that I have found helpful:

1. Get educated: psychology, self-improvement, science, politics, cultural norms and deviations
2. learn from recognized professionals
3. Find what makes real honest, fair sense and begin applying it to see if it will work
4. Measure results: test things out to see what actually works in helping you
5. Get appropriate feedback from friends, family, trusted associates, coworkers, and professionals
– From competent people who you can trust

There is a difference between genuinely healthy actions and just personal preferences in determining what is healthy and what will actually work.

Exercise is scientifically proven to be healthy for almost everyone (unless you have medical problems). Now, having said that, there are so many forms, intensities, and variations. The different ways to go about exercising is just personal preference. Or depends on what you want to accomplish.

Healing and learning skills are two different things. Wanting to exercise is very different from being able to learn the breast stroke in swimming, how to run a marathon, or lifting weights in the gym. Swimming, running, and weight lifting require learning different types of skills. Don’t confuse skills learning with healing.

Here are some basic guidelines in choosing a professional to work with.
1 Are they competent in teaching what I need (not just doing)?
2 Do we like each other?

They know me well because it is a very personal process
How well will we work together?
How do we know that we will accomplish our intention?

These are the five questions I ask a professional before I hire them.
How many people have you trained in this area?
How do I know you can train in this area?
What do you know about my personal problem?
What can you teach me about how to deal with the cost?
What results can I expect?

It gets complicated but not impossible. Complication is just one of the reasons why the greatest minds in the world have not been able to figure out Gutap.

I have often seen the reframing method used that you describe. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and NLP are just two of the more recognizable forms of reframing. Overwriting one behavior with another. Its success depends on how strong the feelings are associated with the false belief. There can be some success if a much stronger positive feeling is used to overwrite a negative one. The problem is that negativity can always be the exact amount of strength as the positive one. They can be equal. Negativity can even out way the positive feeling. (Or that negativity cannot be eliminated from the universe, so what do we do with it.) Which is more often the real problem. It is often said that seven or more compliments are needed to out way just one negative insult. This is why reframing fails so often. The negative false belief is simply erasing your “opposite” positive feeling faster than you can overwrite it. What you need to do is find the matching positive feelings. Only that will supplant the original false belief for good.

In this case negativity can often out way the positive belief because of a higher law in place. The higher law is the long term success of our self-improvement. Meaning if the positive feeling doesn’t match exactly then the old false belief gets to hold out and stay. You can’t force feelings and expect them to work well.

Can you force someone to fall in love with you? That is what reframing and overwriting are claiming.

Can you force a teenager to behave? That is what reframing and overwriting are claiming.

Can you force the middle east to resolve their terms? That is what reframing and overwriting are claiming.

Can you force someone to forgive another individual? That is what reframing and overwriting are claiming.

It gets a little confusing because there is a place for will power (short term forcing things together) in the healing process. But it is not in the reframing but it is also not even in choosing the opposite behavior which is positive. Not just any positive feeling will cure any false belief. It has to be just the right matching one.

For example: There is a simple cure for anger. One thing. And only one thing that cures anger. It is forgiveness. Forgiveness cures anger. Nothing else. Gratitude, opportunity, perspective, context, enthusiasm, courage, being free, excitement, trust, and being certain do not cure anger. They are the wrong positive match of feelings. Only forgiveness cures anger. And it does it in less than two seconds (if you do it). Letting go, get off it, moving on – these are all soft forms of forgiveness and will probably get you there as well. What is interesting is the end result is also not the cure for forgiveness. People often say to calm down, relax, or be happy. But you can’t really get to have those things until you forgive. Only by forgiving are you able to then move to these other emotional states of being calm, relaxing, and being happy. People often confuse the end result of being cured as the cure itself. It is what reframing has confused as well. You can rewrite calm, relax, and happy on your anger all you want but it won’t change it. It will only move it around. Only forgiveness will resolve it once and for all.

Well, what about the fullness of joy and love? Won’t that feeling cure my anger because love is the answer. Love includes all the positive emotions like forgiveness so just let love into my anger and that will do it, right? Nope. It won’t work because the cure is now too big. Anger can go passive aggressive and hide out now because you are over doing it. Before it was the wrong match of positive emotion. Now it is too big. Pure love is a cure for something else, not anger.

The moment you leave your “path” a false belief is created. In that same moment your way back was also created. You don’t get to choose the way back after that because it was already done. To determine your own answer at that point is delusional. Just because it is wonderful does not mean it will help your own false belief. The good news? Your own answer is always wonderful but maybe not the wonderful you would have liked it to have been. But once you are healed you have the ability to achieve whatever positive result you would have liked to have picked. You don’t get that option until you are healed though.

Because there has never been an answer like this before self-improvement gurus keep promising quick fixes and pleasant work to flatter people into attending their courses. By promising that the road to health and success is easy and pleasant then they get butts in seats and make incredible amounts of money. The problem is that it doesn’t work which is one of the reasons that the self-improvement arena is seen as being full of charlatans, liars, cheats, and just plain frauds and thieves. Even the field of psychology is rejected as a “real” science by many professionals. But people don’t care that it doesn’t work because they feel good: entertained, flattered, rejuvenated, etc. etc. by the end of the workshop/session even though their programming has not really been changed.

Here is a whole other thread on debating someone over whether The Sedona Method works or not. This should also help shed some light on the difference between significant progress and complete resolution. (only 2 pgs.)

Warrior Forum – Mind Warriors: The Sedona Method changed my life

Remember – counting to ten, going for a walk, or seeing it from their perspective will have significant progress in resolving your anger. But you will still be angry only just less so by doing these things. Only forgiveness cures anger completely. Just do that and you don’t have to waste all that time and energy with those coping skills.

Just do what works and you get what you want every single time.

(Oh, and I have written out the whole process of Gutap as a book on my site for anybody who wants a complete description of the process.)

The law that supercedes attraction

Taking action is even more important than thinking. Technically we don’t do anything without thinking about it first though. But what I am talking about is that there are way more people who are egocentric, off base, or control freaks who are rich than those who enjoy their success.

Look at the people running hedge funds, upper management at most Fortune 500 companies, or the rest of Wall Street and in banking. They just are not into “their inner being”. They are into taking massive action in producing results. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and many others are not that well balanced.

Taking action trumps how we think.

A bicycle doesn’t care what we feel about it. A laptop doesn’t care if we believe in it. The rising sun doesn’t give a hoot if we are worried about tomorrow. These things work whether we feel impotent or not.

Now, we all know here, that enjoying wealth and success while being healthy, responsible, and appropriate is a much more enjoyable way to live. But if you are just after money then just take effective action. Your thoughts simply don’t matter. Just keep plowing ahead.

If you can’t take action then you are afraid. And now you know what to work on. The rest of this forum can be helpful for that.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. It will still work. But if you want to enjoy the ride then learn to overcome fear itself.

Or ignore the fear and do it anyway.

Or resolve the fear and do it.

Being able to resolve our concerns allows us to get started and keep going in a positive way. But the stuff still works even when we don’t believe. It is just impossible to do in some cases when we don’t believe. In those moments we have to resolve our fear or we can’t act. The rest of the time, if you want results now, just plow ahead.

When someone asks a leading entrapment question, do this:

Someone just asked me (first time requested, yaaayyy) a very unhealthy question.

How can I show my girl that an emotionally invested relationship is not worth living? What are the serious problems comes out of an emotionally invested relationship in the long run?


And this is what I did about it:

(sigh), why would you want a relationship at all then? You could easily get your needs met (ah, see there I go again already putting emotion back into it – like you want that) by just reading a book.


Every relationship is based in emotional involvement. While it is true that there are a very few people out in the world that truly desire to live life without feeling any emotion it just doesn’t seem to work out at all for them. Being purely logical, There have been studies done of people that have had brain damage and can’t feel emotion anymore. When they are given a contract to sign that benefits them immensely and have the choice to sign it with a black or a blue pen they are completely paralyzed. They can’t sign it. There is no logical reason to choose black over blue given no priority is given to one over the other. So they miss out. The rest of us use some sort of emotional context or personal feeling to finish the decision. Without emotion we go nowhere fast.


This really concerns me as a question if it is sincere. It deeply concerns me of the possible context here. I am just trying to imagine what desires a person would have to not want an emotionally invested relationship. I am truly hoping it is to keep the relationship uncomplicated and not the desire to manipulate and coerce your partner.


The other side to this is the serious problem that you get into by becoming emotionally involved in a relationship. But those problems are dwarfed in comparison to the problems of not becoming involved. THERE ARE PROBLEMS EITHER WAY. That is to say if you don’t become emotionally involved the relationship will just end anyway. So I am saying that emotion involvement is required if you want a good, healthy, mature, responsible relationship. A wonderful, enjoyable relationship far (very far) out ways the problems it took to get there.


Of course those same problems are only easily seen that way once you get through them. While you are in them it is hell-on-wheels. It is just awful. Terrible. And you just want to end the relationship anyway. So you do. Then you are lonely, tired, depressed, and all the other horrible things of being alone. But it’s not completely bad being alone. You get to do whatever you want when you want, you are in control of your own money, and you are not being imposed upon by someone with influence with you. There are some benefits to being alone. But just some. Not a lot.


Being in a wonderful relationship far out ways even those things though. But you have to pay the price for it.


You have to have the communication skills to do it. And those skills are icky to develop. Being vulnerable, sticking your neck out there to go for it is risky. Only we are after managed risk here. There are ways to protect yourself when you go for a real, mature, healthy, responsible relationship with another person. Develop those skills and then you can get good at the communication side. Pay the price.


Just think of it. A wonderful, fun, enjoyable relationship with another human being. Someone you can trust, empower, and receive admiration and appreciation from. It is incredible.


It is incredible because you simply just can’t get those feelings being alone.


It is worth it. Go for it.


So why don’t you?


I am guessing you were probably hurt in the past or maybe raised by cold, calculating parents? I’m going to go with having been hurt. So I get you. I feel your pain, my brother. It just seems easier to keep things straight up and not complicate it with “emotions”. Only you are not really doing that either here. It sounds like you are just wanting to be able to get certain emotional needs met here. And not have to deal with her deeper fulfillment. I get you (or maybe I have no idea what I am talking about, being way off base, having read this short question into something far into left field. No idea, so I will just keep going, hoping I am getting close to home).


You are still asking for certain limited feelings here even with a relationship without it because it is still a relationship. If you are doing that then I can see that some healing would be extremely beneficial on your end. Queue my obligatory Gutap method part of almost every post:


Gutap – the system to achieving core level change of any limiting belief.



1 feel the feeling of the false belief to get it

2 find out what it truly wants you to learn in the positive

3 connect the feeling of the positive lesson (not the concept or picture) to the negative feeling of the false belief to let it flow into negative feeling to change it.


Everyone knows by now how to find out more about the Gutap method I developed if they want too so I won’t repeat it here. It is about how to change any false belief all the way to our core if needed.


Back to your question: Now is the part about getting out and actually finding out if a positive relationship is worth it. You have to do that. You need to find out if healthy relationships are worth it. And I am honestly guessing you probably already kinda know that. Google searches are fine but it doesn’t get real and hit home that it is worth it until you talk to people that have done it. When real people sit right in front of you and share with you the incredible wonders that emotional invested living gives you, well. . . . you just don’t quite get it until then.


So are you just saying you want the sex without the complications of a “relationship”? Because that is cold, dude. Truly cold. You have no idea what is going on in the mind of a women when you say that. If I were to ask you to take a full time job that has no pay, ever – that does not even come close to the horror going through this woman at this point. What you are asking for is the fun of having a prostitute at your beck and call while not having to pay her for it. Cold. Truly cold.


Do you see how terrible this can go? I truly hope this is not the case here and you are just asking for a simple relationship, to be able to chill with your girl, and not have to “get into it” with her. Many a man has wished for this on a Sunday afternoon during the football game but life is not always like that. But it can be if you learn the skills to work through the crap. But not until then. Life can be easy and enjoyable (as well as relationships too, of course) only once you do the incredibly hard work of mastering the skills to get there.


Yet another point (sorry, I have so many but I just want to be a bit thorough here so this stops for you) is, “Why would you even want the sex then without the deeper feelings?”. That’s where all the real fun is. See what I am getting at? Back to  – IT’S ALL ABOUT THE FEELINGS. There isn’t really anything else. That is how far off this question is that concerns me. I get that you want a certain type of feelings though. The good stuff, right? Well, at least that’s something to build on. Now, just pay the price of getting YOUR really good stuff because your really good feelings are almost always going to be good for her. A true, really true, win/win is possible and are what relationships (deep, fulfilling relationships) are all about). Pay the awful, horrid, difficult, sticky, awkward, messy price and be done with it. Then enjoy life.


Yep, if you pay the price you get to move on. It just doesn’t become that much of a mess anymore. It might but not usually. But even if it does you have skills now. You get to use them. And things work out.


Live well my friend, because you are in for it one way or another. Even if you choose to convince her somehow to go without emotional involvement she’s not ever going to truly buy into it. This is going to be even more difficult than learning deep emotional involvement. Yep, you heard me. Your question, if achieved, is going to be a harder life for you. Drop it. Get with the program. Learn to play with the rest of us. Life is a lot better after you get decent at it. I promise. (And so does pretty much everyone else.)


But it is up to you.


For the rest of us, we draw on our emotional relationships to help us through the pain of healing (or even just to get through tough times). Then when we get better we return those feelings by supporting and caring for others to build our relationships even stronger. And our lives get better.


The more you want out of life the more work it is going to take to get it. So the better your relationships are the more ability you are going to have to get through it.


Thanks for being ballsy enough to ask me to answer this question whoever it was.


The Dark Side of Winning the Lottery

Ok, so the big point here is that if you don’t have the discipline to get large amounts of money to begin with (notice I didn’t say earn or deserve because it turns out those two qualities may or may not even have anything to do with getting rich) then you don’t have the discipline to handle it afterwards.

It’s not just about budgeting, spending wisely, and staying away from cocaine and hookers either. It’s about all the people around you who want a piece of your freebee.


Here’s a very informative post I found on Reddit>


Very interesting. Can you imagine having the discipline to have won the lottery and really never tell anybody about it? That is the prime mistake these lottery winners made>

and here>

and here>

and here>

And list just keeping going on and on>


Thoughts on how you would handle success? A little different now, eh?

Success in love and money. How would you handle meeting the significant other of your dreams? You just won the “relationship” lottery. How would that go?

If you have the discipline to keep your mouth shut and be smart then you would probably never really ever play the lottery, right?

Now you have something to tell that crazy uncle who keeps saying, “One day when I win the lottery . . . “.

Suddenly, I feel like buying my first lottery ticket.

Man Buys Lottery Tickets to Break $100 Bill, Wins $10M

“Seriously? That could have been me.”

How many times have you heard that?

Do people really think this will happen to them?

Or do they just not think they have any other option for making it big?


Here are six fun “practical” insights (not all encompassing, of course) shared by self-made billionaires. I just googled self made billionaires and was surprised how many there were. You should check it for yourself.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
–Bill Gates

“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive.”
–Donald Trump

“If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
–J.K. Rowling

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.”
–Andrew Carnegie

“If you never want to be criticized, for goodness’ sake don’t do anything new.”
–Jeff Bezos

“Sweat equity is the most valuable equity there is. Know your business and industry better than anyone else in the world. Love what you do or don’t do it.”
–Mark Cuban

Quotes were pulled from this random blog:

How many more examples are other people showing us that they have written about? Go google it and see.

Did you know J.K. Rowling was turned down by seven publishers before getting Harry Potter published? She was living on welfare when she mapped out the first book or so on a napkin in a coffee shop. Her book only got printed because the young daughter of the publisher loved it so much she kept begging her dad to publish it until he did. Yep, the publisher didn’t even think it was good enough to publish. He only did it to placate his daughter. (Well, maybe he thought it might have made a buck or two?)

Donald Trump is a little controversial for this list because his dad had already made millions in real estate. The lesson with Trump is not really self made but second generation that capitalized on success.

We can all learn from these two lessons:

From nothing to beyond greatness


Building upon our existing strengths to explode into greatness


Come and discuss the most powerful skills related to success.


Toby Jensen
Master Life Coach
Personal Development for Those Who Love to Grow

The most well-known secret to life: sales

The most well-known secret to life: sales

Nothing happens until somebody sells something. You don’t win or lose a job, get a date for Friday night, or even get out of bed in the morning until you are sold on something. This influence through sales is one of the single most well-known, influential skills for our day.

Why don’t more people do sales? Well, they do. That is to say they do it poorly. The successful become more successful by not just learning about sales (anybody can read a book) but by practicing this life skill itself. You don’t get to choose whether you are in sales or not. You only get to choose if you are going to use it or will it use you?

What are you selling?

The Darkside of Success

One of the best kept secrets of successful business people is they get support. They take care of themselves. And they know how to change things back to that if they need too. If you are looking for a dark side to give yourself an excuse to not achieve success then just look at the dark side of being a failure. That is much worse.

Gutap is being used to achieve this change more and more often. If you want a dark side to it all? It is that they have to work insanely hard to achieve this. The cure can be worse than the disease. Dealing with the shadow is required in order to be healthy, responsible, and successful.

Contact Toby

Toby Jensen, Master Life Coach
Park City, UT
(801) 484 - 3484

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