The law that supercedes attraction

Taking action is even more important than thinking. Technically we don’t do anything without thinking about it first though. But what I am talking about is that there are way more people who are egocentric, off base, or control freaks who are rich than those who enjoy their success.

Look at the people running hedge funds, upper management at most Fortune 500 companies, or the rest of Wall Street and in banking. They just are not into “their inner being”. They are into taking massive action in producing results. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and many others are not that well balanced.

Taking action trumps how we think.

A bicycle doesn’t care what we feel about it. A laptop doesn’t care if we believe in it. The rising sun doesn’t give a hoot if we are worried about tomorrow. These things work whether we feel impotent or not.

Now, we all know here, that enjoying wealth and success while being healthy, responsible, and appropriate is a much more enjoyable way to live. But if you are just after money then just take effective action. Your thoughts simply don’t matter. Just keep plowing ahead.

If you can’t take action then you are afraid. And now you know what to work on. The rest of this forum can be helpful for that.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. It will still work. But if you want to enjoy the ride then learn to overcome fear itself.

Or ignore the fear and do it anyway.

Or resolve the fear and do it.

Being able to resolve our concerns allows us to get started and keep going in a positive way. But the stuff still works even when we don’t believe. It is just impossible to do in some cases when we don’t believe. In those moments we have to resolve our fear or we can’t act. The rest of the time, if you want results now, just plow ahead.

When someone asks a leading entrapment question, do this:

Someone just asked me (first time requested, yaaayyy) a very unhealthy question.

How can I show my girl that an emotionally invested relationship is not worth living? What are the serious problems comes out of an emotionally invested relationship in the long run?

 

And this is what I did about it:

(sigh), why would you want a relationship at all then? You could easily get your needs met (ah, see there I go again already putting emotion back into it – like you want that) by just reading a book.

 

Every relationship is based in emotional involvement. While it is true that there are a very few people out in the world that truly desire to live life without feeling any emotion it just doesn’t seem to work out at all for them. Being purely logical, There have been studies done of people that have had brain damage and can’t feel emotion anymore. When they are given a contract to sign that benefits them immensely and have the choice to sign it with a black or a blue pen they are completely paralyzed. They can’t sign it. There is no logical reason to choose black over blue given no priority is given to one over the other. So they miss out. The rest of us use some sort of emotional context or personal feeling to finish the decision. Without emotion we go nowhere fast.

 

This really concerns me as a question if it is sincere. It deeply concerns me of the possible context here. I am just trying to imagine what desires a person would have to not want an emotionally invested relationship. I am truly hoping it is to keep the relationship uncomplicated and not the desire to manipulate and coerce your partner.

 

The other side to this is the serious problem that you get into by becoming emotionally involved in a relationship. But those problems are dwarfed in comparison to the problems of not becoming involved. THERE ARE PROBLEMS EITHER WAY. That is to say if you don’t become emotionally involved the relationship will just end anyway. So I am saying that emotion involvement is required if you want a good, healthy, mature, responsible relationship. A wonderful, enjoyable relationship far (very far) out ways the problems it took to get there.

 

Of course those same problems are only easily seen that way once you get through them. While you are in them it is hell-on-wheels. It is just awful. Terrible. And you just want to end the relationship anyway. So you do. Then you are lonely, tired, depressed, and all the other horrible things of being alone. But it’s not completely bad being alone. You get to do whatever you want when you want, you are in control of your own money, and you are not being imposed upon by someone with influence with you. There are some benefits to being alone. But just some. Not a lot.

 

Being in a wonderful relationship far out ways even those things though. But you have to pay the price for it.

 

You have to have the communication skills to do it. And those skills are icky to develop. Being vulnerable, sticking your neck out there to go for it is risky. Only we are after managed risk here. There are ways to protect yourself when you go for a real, mature, healthy, responsible relationship with another person. Develop those skills and then you can get good at the communication side. Pay the price.

 

Just think of it. A wonderful, fun, enjoyable relationship with another human being. Someone you can trust, empower, and receive admiration and appreciation from. It is incredible.

 

It is incredible because you simply just can’t get those feelings being alone.

 

It is worth it. Go for it.

 

So why don’t you?

 

I am guessing you were probably hurt in the past or maybe raised by cold, calculating parents? I’m going to go with having been hurt. So I get you. I feel your pain, my brother. It just seems easier to keep things straight up and not complicate it with “emotions”. Only you are not really doing that either here. It sounds like you are just wanting to be able to get certain emotional needs met here. And not have to deal with her deeper fulfillment. I get you (or maybe I have no idea what I am talking about, being way off base, having read this short question into something far into left field. No idea, so I will just keep going, hoping I am getting close to home).

 

You are still asking for certain limited feelings here even with a relationship without it because it is still a relationship. If you are doing that then I can see that some healing would be extremely beneficial on your end. Queue my obligatory Gutap method part of almost every post:

 

Gutap – the system to achieving core level change of any limiting belief.

 

Steps:

1 feel the feeling of the false belief to get it

2 find out what it truly wants you to learn in the positive

3 connect the feeling of the positive lesson (not the concept or picture) to the negative feeling of the false belief to let it flow into negative feeling to change it.

 

Everyone knows by now how to find out more about the Gutap method I developed if they want too so I won’t repeat it here. It is about how to change any false belief all the way to our core if needed.

 

Back to your question: Now is the part about getting out and actually finding out if a positive relationship is worth it. You have to do that. You need to find out if healthy relationships are worth it. And I am honestly guessing you probably already kinda know that. Google searches are fine but it doesn’t get real and hit home that it is worth it until you talk to people that have done it. When real people sit right in front of you and share with you the incredible wonders that emotional invested living gives you, well. . . . you just don’t quite get it until then.

 

So are you just saying you want the sex without the complications of a “relationship”? Because that is cold, dude. Truly cold. You have no idea what is going on in the mind of a women when you say that. If I were to ask you to take a full time job that has no pay, ever – that does not even come close to the horror going through this woman at this point. What you are asking for is the fun of having a prostitute at your beck and call while not having to pay her for it. Cold. Truly cold.

 

Do you see how terrible this can go? I truly hope this is not the case here and you are just asking for a simple relationship, to be able to chill with your girl, and not have to “get into it” with her. Many a man has wished for this on a Sunday afternoon during the football game but life is not always like that. But it can be if you learn the skills to work through the crap. But not until then. Life can be easy and enjoyable (as well as relationships too, of course) only once you do the incredibly hard work of mastering the skills to get there.

 

Yet another point (sorry, I have so many but I just want to be a bit thorough here so this stops for you) is, “Why would you even want the sex then without the deeper feelings?”. That’s where all the real fun is. See what I am getting at? Back to  – IT’S ALL ABOUT THE FEELINGS. There isn’t really anything else. That is how far off this question is that concerns me. I get that you want a certain type of feelings though. The good stuff, right? Well, at least that’s something to build on. Now, just pay the price of getting YOUR really good stuff because your really good feelings are almost always going to be good for her. A true, really true, win/win is possible and are what relationships (deep, fulfilling relationships) are all about). Pay the awful, horrid, difficult, sticky, awkward, messy price and be done with it. Then enjoy life.

 

Yep, if you pay the price you get to move on. It just doesn’t become that much of a mess anymore. It might but not usually. But even if it does you have skills now. You get to use them. And things work out.

 

Live well my friend, because you are in for it one way or another. Even if you choose to convince her somehow to go without emotional involvement she’s not ever going to truly buy into it. This is going to be even more difficult than learning deep emotional involvement. Yep, you heard me. Your question, if achieved, is going to be a harder life for you. Drop it. Get with the program. Learn to play with the rest of us. Life is a lot better after you get decent at it. I promise. (And so does pretty much everyone else.)

 

But it is up to you.

 

For the rest of us, we draw on our emotional relationships to help us through the pain of healing (or even just to get through tough times). Then when we get better we return those feelings by supporting and caring for others to build our relationships even stronger. And our lives get better.

 

The more you want out of life the more work it is going to take to get it. So the better your relationships are the more ability you are going to have to get through it.

 

Thanks for being ballsy enough to ask me to answer this question whoever it was.

 

The Dark Side of Winning the Lottery

Ok, so the big point here is that if you don’t have the discipline to get large amounts of money to begin with (notice I didn’t say earn or deserve because it turns out those two qualities may or may not even have anything to do with getting rich) then you don’t have the discipline to handle it afterwards.

It’s not just about budgeting, spending wisely, and staying away from cocaine and hookers either. It’s about all the people around you who want a piece of your freebee.

 

Here’s a very informative post I found on Reddit> http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/whats_the_happiest_5word_sentence_you_could_hear/chb4v05?context=3

 

Very interesting. Can you imagine having the discipline to have won the lottery and really never tell anybody about it? That is the prime mistake these lottery winners made>

http://www.businesspundit.com/10-people-who-won-the-lottery-then-lost-it-all/

and here> http://situationroom.blogs.cnn.com/2012/11/28/lottery-winners-lives-ruined/

and here> http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/11/28/500-million-powerball-jackpot-the-tragic-stories-of-the-lotterys-unluckiest-winners/

and here> http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/11/28/500-million-powerball-jackpot-the-tragic-stories-of-the-lotterys-unluckiest-winners/

And list just keeping going on and on> https://www.google.com/search?q=win+lottery+bad&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

 

Thoughts on how you would handle success? A little different now, eh?

Success in love and money. How would you handle meeting the significant other of your dreams? You just won the “relationship” lottery. How would that go?

If you have the discipline to keep your mouth shut and be smart then you would probably never really ever play the lottery, right?

Now you have something to tell that crazy uncle who keeps saying, “One day when I win the lottery . . . “.

Suddenly, I feel like buying my first lottery ticket.

Man Buys Lottery Tickets to Break $100 Bill, Wins $10M

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/weird/Man-Buys-Lottery-Tickets-to-Break-100-Bill-Wins-10M-289487081.html

“Seriously? That could have been me.”

How many times have you heard that?

Do people really think this will happen to them?

Or do they just not think they have any other option for making it big?

 

Here are six fun “practical” insights (not all encompassing, of course) shared by self-made billionaires. I just googled self made billionaires and was surprised how many there were. You should check it for yourself.

“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
–Bill Gates

“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive.”
–Donald Trump

“If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
–J.K. Rowling

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.”
–Andrew Carnegie

“If you never want to be criticized, for goodness’ sake don’t do anything new.”
–Jeff Bezos

“Sweat equity is the most valuable equity there is. Know your business and industry better than anyone else in the world. Love what you do or don’t do it.”
–Mark Cuban

Quotes were pulled from this random blog:
http://www.inc.com/larry-kim/6-extraordinary-lessons-in-business-from-self-made-billionaires.html

How many more examples are other people showing us that they have written about? Go google it and see.

Did you know J.K. Rowling was turned down by seven publishers before getting Harry Potter published? She was living on welfare when she mapped out the first book or so on a napkin in a coffee shop. Her book only got printed because the young daughter of the publisher loved it so much she kept begging her dad to publish it until he did. Yep, the publisher didn’t even think it was good enough to publish. He only did it to placate his daughter. (Well, maybe he thought it might have made a buck or two?)

Donald Trump is a little controversial for this list because his dad had already made millions in real estate. The lesson with Trump is not really self made but second generation that capitalized on success.

We can all learn from these two lessons:

From nothing to beyond greatness

to

Building upon our existing strengths to explode into greatness

 

Come and discuss the most powerful skills related to success.

 

Toby Jensen
Master Life Coach
www.TobyJensen.com
Personal Development for Those Who Love to Grow

The most well-known secret to life: sales

The most well-known secret to life: sales

Nothing happens until somebody sells something. You don’t win or lose a job, get a date for Friday night, or even get out of bed in the morning until you are sold on something. This influence through sales is one of the single most well-known, influential skills for our day.

Why don’t more people do sales? Well, they do. That is to say they do it poorly. The successful become more successful by not just learning about sales (anybody can read a book) but by practicing this life skill itself. You don’t get to choose whether you are in sales or not. You only get to choose if you are going to use it or will it use you?

What are you selling?

The Darkside of Success

One of the best kept secrets of successful business people is they get support. They take care of themselves. And they know how to change things back to that if they need too. If you are looking for a dark side to give yourself an excuse to not achieve success then just look at the dark side of being a failure. That is much worse.

Gutap is being used to achieve this change more and more often. If you want a dark side to it all? It is that they have to work insanely hard to achieve this. The cure can be worse than the disease. Dealing with the shadow is required in order to be healthy, responsible, and successful.

The Single Greatest Investment

The Single Greatest Investment

The best thing money can buy is higher quality of life for yourself and others.

Wisdom.

Freedom, opportunity, expansion are all aspects of a higher quality of life.

All other purchases such as unconditional love from a dog, a beautiful Tesla electric motor car, a dream vacation walking The Great Wall of China, so that when you live longer (rich people tend to live longer than the poor) you enjoy it. Buy for yourself first so you can have more to buy for others. There is no way you can buy more time. At least not more than 24 hours in a day. But you can buy more ability to expand and enjoy your current amount of time. The ability to “slow” things down and appreciate them. You can also buy efficiency: food being cooked for you, traveling by jet instead of bus, text message instead of post, you get the idea. Free up your time with money. Oh, yeah, yes, you can buy more time. Rich people live longer than poor people. How’s that for buying more time?

The rich and successful who also enjoy their lives with plenty of time to do what they want keep the priorities that got them there. Not just smart work but also spending what they have in appropriate, responsible ways on personal development first.

Come and share what makes you successful while learning from other successful people.

Information Overload: How do I get rid of . . .

Information Overload: How do I get rid of my habit of saving anything & everything that I find useful, interesting on the internet?

 

I spend a lot of time online, and browse through many social media & other websites such as Pinterest, Quora, Facebook (product), etc.

While browsing on the internet, if I find anything that is humorous, informative, etc. I HAVE to save it! I feel the need to store the data thinking I may never get the same data again.

Sometimes, I do this by storing webpages, or by saving images of a similar kind in a folder. Sometimes even the need to store the data physically!

For example: While browsing on Quora yesterday I came across this question : What are the funniest Game of Thrones meme images? Being a Game of Thrones (TV series) fan, I really enjoyed the different memes. I immediately thought of creating a folder (named ‘GoT memes’ maybe!) and storing the best images (for that matter all of them!)

Similar instances on Facebook & Pinterest!

 

Is it just me or some of you also do similar things?

Do you think my behavior is fine?

If not, how do I get rid of my habit?

 

# Edit : I just did it again! I have added too many topics to this question. 😛

 

 

 

 

Pain

Remember your pain is what starts us off.

 

Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

 

Is that what you truly want? I mean, doesn’t this just boil down to being a know-it-all? How impressive is that to people compared to being intelligent and effective? Add a few points to a conversation and let those sink in. That is far more effective and trying to know about everything.

Or is this the problem? That you have a short attention span, delighted by everything?

This problem comes from too much stimulation. So cut it down. Where is your pain in your life? Bring back just a tad of that to keep things in perspective.

Or is this a problem of hoarding? Because hoarding bookmarks on the internet is incredibly doable with bookmark apps. Why stop? I don’t really see a problem here. In fact, if you keep your bookmarks public in your app then others can share and comment which build your own community that could, one day, even be turned into a profitable business endeavor or even another search engine.

Don’t stop. There is no problem here. Now go out and get really good at it, just keep it as a hobby, or whatever.

But if you are worried about how much unproductive time you are wasting . . . well, that is another problem. But if you are sharing and “talking” then that can be incredibly valuable. The internet has provided another means of staying in communication not just to those we love and care about (friends, family, coworkers, etc.) but also the masses at large. And people and capitalizing on it. So why shouldn’t you? Well, when any strength becomes over extended it may become a problem. Is this actually a problem or just being perceived as one?

You asked, “Is it just me or some of you also do similar things?”. I think any brief perusal on Pinterest, Facebook, Quora, or any other social media shows millions upon millions of others doing the same thing.

I would say you are not talking enough. The automatic correction to this comes in the form of, “Who is listening?”. Is anybody responding? Are you engaging with people?

Now, on another note, you did mention one thing that might be a concern. Actually storing the data. If this is being saved to your hard drive or even copies of the data being saved to the cloud then this could easily be classified as “hoarding” (obsessive compulsive). Ever seen the TV show? Very little is ever erased from the internet these days. And stuff that is often gets reposted immediately in several places. If this is your concern then there is a problem. Hoarders (obsessive compulsive) talk about this. That they might not get it again. It is a scarcity mentality.

“If not, how do I get rid of my habit?”

For that I recommend Gutap.

 

This class is about what you think your problem is compared to what the actual problem is about.

What is really going on? I just love the answers found in psychology and personal development. Come and talk about them.

 

Focus and Results (without losing global awareness)

What are some strategies to stay focused on tasks and actually get stuff done when creativity/ADD is on overload?

We are often under immense pressure to do more with less. But how do we go about it in a healthy, responsible manner?

The positive side is that you actually have some constructive things to add to the projects. Do you know how many lazy, negative, worthless things people try to “chip in” with to improve something? You actually want to help in a constructive manner. You are already staying out of the trap of pointing out flaws to passively aggressively destroy the project. Anybody can say why something won’t work. That’s easy but coming up with ideas that could actually work? That takes real skill!

And that is the beginning to the answer. Run with the ideas to let them lead you to what will actually work. Overload can bring an emotional rush (a high) that could even lead to being bipolar. So what to do? Ask yourself, Or have someone ask you some basic questions about what you want to do? Of course you have to live in the clouds, that is what creative people do. But how do you actually LIVE there?

Do you want to get lost in ideas or do you want to actually be effective and get a paycheck?

Do you want the feeling of the rush of ideas more than being recognized by others and received the feeling of solid admiration?

Do you want to make some changes or just spout off at the mouth?

Do you want to be grounded, solid, and effective or do you want to float away in the clouds going nowhere?

This sounds a lot easier in theory than in practice. There is a complete niche developed in life coaching for creative people. Many incredible insights and developments have been added to the field. For the practice side I added Gutap to it to help turn the ADD into more constructive creativity.

Come and learn about focus as a part of overall awareness. This class is not just about mental illness. It is about what confident, healthy, successful people can learn from the mistakes of others to be even greater. Wise are those who learn from others and not just their own mistakes.

How can I raise my self-esteem?

I have very low self-esteem. I am pretty sure, though, that I’m a great person because that’s what people keep telling me. I can recognize that I have a warped self-view because I don’t believe I am beautiful, but everyone tells me that I am. I really am quite good at life, but I get easily bogged down (and somewhat socially crippled) by self-doubt. How can I stop negative thought patterns from wiping out everything I’ve learned about me being great? Negative concepts about myself are just so robust and overpowering.