The lull between Christmas and New Years

“In recognizing and accepting the hopelessness of your condition, at the same time you transcend it.” Zen Buddhists talk about this. To be aware of what is happening is to be able to change it.

Yearlong wrap ups are coming out. You know, the best of 2016.


I’ve already read those during the year. Plus, if I’m worth my salt at all I would already know them. (Or at least just google them up when needed.)

Now actually doing it? Well, that’s another story. Knowing what to do is not the same as doing it, is it?

Here is a thought>

Use this time right now between Christmas and New Years to reflect on what you have learned this past year. DO NOT set any goals for next year though. That will happen later. Now is the time to revel in your successes and what you learned from your failures.

You are tired and exhausted from the holidays. This makes it an excellent time to be relaxed and honest with ourselves about who we are and what we did this past year. You are too tired to lie to yourself. And remember, if you are honest then you have a starting point to do something about it.

What worked for you? And what could you have done better? What did you learn?

Write it all down. It helps to keep it straight. I write constantly.

Now. How would you like next year to be different and better?

Go ahead and start writing your New Year’s resolutions. Never mind about realistic or achievable right now. That will come later during implementation.

Hopefully it will be one of mine to write a blog about that but if I don’t then just go ahead and write yours anyway.

The Wizard of Oz moves us closer to utopia

The Wizard of Oz is one of those movies with lasting appeal because it teaches us while making us feel good. Maybe that is why it is Oprah’s favorite movie of all time. I like to think people love it because it has all four areas of life instead of just good and evil. To me the four characters: Dorothy, Lion, Scarecrow, and Tinman represent the four areas of our personality like in DISC or Meyers Briggs. Bringing out our true inner desires in a way that works is simply what everyone wants to do to enjoy life. Was it the pain or the adventure that helped each character at the end suddenly realize their potential. Or maybe it was the truth of their nature delivered with empathy that lead to their shift.


Whatever it was it is time to get rid of limiting beliefs. Let’s go with that. Only without denying or trying to force our way out of it. Staying cool, calm, and collected as Dorothy and the Tinman often did, is vital.

Sometimes we forget to simply look on the bright side. Maybe we get busy, then tired, then easily affected by anything. And by anything I mean susceptible to whatever passing fancy negative event. Then we are too tired to realize and definitely too tired to do anything about it.

We also often just simply misunderstand another’s point of view because they are a different person.

Often we turn to authorities to tell us what to do, what to think. Sometimes I am honestly not sure about these specific definitions saying colors always do (blank) to us. You know, like red means vibrant life or passion, or energizes us. I guess I go more with Living Your Dreams: The Classic Bestseller on Becoming Your Own Dream Expert by Gayle M. Delaney. She goes more into listening to what the “colors” (dream images in her case) mean to you. What do you experience when you see the color red in different circumstances? How do you notice other people react when they see the color red?

We can even see in our workplace how people react to life. Here it is important because we see how people truly are when they are under pressure. The work place or as I like to think – Utopia in Training. So how close can we come to utopia? Not really a pertinent question because often I don’t think real, true, lasting utopia is even possible. Then sometimes I do get glimpses of it working. All I really want to have is just achieving the next few steps towards utopia this next week. We all know that is possible. And would it not be grand to have help to get us there?

Boundaries are important in a utopia. Some say that “no” has no place here. But what if all “no’s” were simply seen as helpful instead of painful? All problems are only opportunities.

The soft ways of saying no are wonderful – “I’ll get back to you on that”.  Or even better is let’s look at when we can do that together. And then too – how can we do that and still do all the rest I need to do?

Utopia must mean there are no “no’s, no boundaries needed, no death. It is more than closure that we seek in times of death. It is also more than completing the grieving process. It is to feel whole not just be able to move on. To bring together or past and future in a way that brings out the best in us.

Coming together without being needy or passive aggressive. That is the key. I love these two comparisons Diversity and Inclusiveness because it is almost like having opposites or living by embracing the paradox. Of course as the human family we relate far more to community than to autonomy. By coming together we have a far greater chance of survival so those people end up having more children than autonomous people. Which means more human beings having children who need to be part of a community. Only we still have a need for variety. Or as is said here – diversity. Funny how diversity is so close to the word adversity, isn’t it?

Often I have heard that all perception is projection. That there is no one else out there. I am not even sure what that means, to be honest. I just know that the moment I have taken care of myself well I automatically become curious about others. And then can easily move into taking care of another person, even if, sometimes I have to take care of them before me. And I was amazed at a new level of existence of having more for myself by taking care of another person first.

Compassion coupled with accountability seems to be key to helping resolve serious problems such as addiction. It is a fine line with the abuse and boundary violations that seem to come hand in hand from an addict. How difficult it is to keep reaching out to them when the lies, anger, and pain seem to be all that comes from them to hurt us. But this is exactly what an addict needs. Too bad we have to keep taking time for ourselves to heal, recuperate so we can come back to helping otherwise we would have resolved this long ago. But at least we can come back. That is what matters. Dorothy stood by her friends even when they were off kilter most of the time.

Honestly, more than a silver lining. More than choosing to look for the brighter side. But to truly be able to have light come from darkness, to have pain turn into pleasure. We have all done it. Runner’s high in exercise, being in the flow while writing that mid-term paper we have neglected all semester. But how do we actually do it instead of just fake-it-‘til-you-make-it or act as if? What actually happens in that moment when negative transfers into positive. After all, there has to be a way, according to what is observed in science. A battery has positive and negative polarity incased within a single unit. Are not human beings just the same – in a way? What a better way to put (negative turns into positive) rather than just picking up the pieces lost when companies downsize.

Holding onto the past can be even worse than we think. It is the feelings we have associated with the past that causes the holding onto it. It is emotion that drives our views. Change your programming and you change the world.

Then utopia is another step closer.

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Office Time

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Business time

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Guide Tours

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Feel the experience

Advanced experience

Ark exceeds expectations

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Contact Toby

Toby Jensen, Master Life Coach
Park City, UT
(801) 484 - 3484

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